Well, I've found over the years that I get asked a lot of the same questions. So, I thought I'd provide an area on the site where I could field those commonly asked, very burning questions that delve into my very psyche. Also, it's nice to have a place where one can openly talk to one's self. Got a question not covered here? Well, shoot me an e-mail!
It's pronounced like my birthname - Mitch.
I felt like it. I never really cared for my name. It being one that conveniently rhymed with "Bitch", and having a last name that sounded a lot like a San Francisco treat - "Mitch the Bitch Macaroni" and "Bitch-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat" were favorites amongst my (now dead) childhood foes. I kid about them being dead now. They're living semi-healthy lives in my basement, where I feed them on a strict diet of whatever I ate the night before. Anyway - "Mitcz" just looks cooler written down, and has the convenient after effect of being very Googlable.
I'm trying to avoid being "cute", but it's a curse I'm apparently unable to change. There are worse things, I suppose, it's just hard to come off like a hardcore badass when people go "awww.. how cute!". So, I pierce my face up. Also, when you're someone like me who regularly prowls the clubs around one's apartment for women who are "freaky" it helps to have a nice shiny siren of sorts on one's face that noticeably displays "hey! I'm a freak too! let's get freaky.".
I guess I should be honored that I've actually had women lie to their friends about having slept with me - but it can be an odd thing to defend at social gatherings. I lived in Phoenix from the time I was about 3 until I was about 20 - in that time, I only slept with.. hmm.. about 20+ women there, but I've heard tales that would put me close off in the 60's. Chances are, your friend is lying unless they have a picture of us "En Flagrante" as they say. Since no such pictures, to my knowledge, exist - they're probably lying. However, if you've got a picture of them, I could clear up the confusion. I'm not very good with names, so don't give me names. I need pictures.
Partially. I was not "in a gay porno". I modeled for a site that was run by two men who claimed they "had all the female models [they] needed". As I later found out, the site was targeted towards a gay audience. I'm not embarrassed about it, and I've actually posted the full story in my LJ (which is what you're reading when you click "Blog" in the "Personal" menu on this site). Care to read it? Okay - Here it is.
Kinda and kinda. I was not "in" Godless, per se, I was their stage-performing gimp. I would wear a codpiece, smear lipstick on myself, pour dripping-hot candlewax on my chest and put cigarettes out on my stomach while they jammed out the industrial tunes. Oh, and I simulated sex with a blow-up doll a few times. I emphasize simulate cause.. c'mon, you ever tried to fuck a blow-up doll without lube? Ow.
I can thank my friend Kristina for this one. I performed comedy at a FETISH club, yes. In said club, there were people in various states of undress. Some of these people were engaging in BDSM, for the viewing pleasure of passers-by. I don't consider that an "orgy", but some people do - so there are now rumors about town that I've done comedy at an orgy party. I was described as "the only hardcore fetish comic" by someone who ran a fetish club recently, and I'm honored. If you want comedy at an orgy party - well, shit, I guess I could do that too. Though, I'm not sure anyone would be paying attention - I welcome the challenge.
Funny answer : I tried my hand at music, but I was laughed off the stage. As a musician, that's not good. But, as a comic - that's a killing. So, I went for comedy.
Real Answer : A girl I was fucking when I lived in Seattle once said "You're really fuckin' funny, ya know that? You should be a comedian". And I asked my friends "am I funny enough to be a comic?" and they said "sure. I guess". When I got to SoCal, I went to the Irvine Improv to see an amateur night and noticed that.. almost none of the comics were funny. I thought "well, shit, i could do better than that". Sadly, the few comics that were funny were stealing little bits from comedians far better than they. It was then that I realized throughout my life I've studied comedy and people and entertainment so much that I'm a bit of a natural at it. I'm not bragging - I'm telling my story. I've studied a lot of "the greats" and I've actually called other comics on their shit when I noticed them stealing bits from other comedians. This doesn't go over well w/them, but it doesn't go over well w/me that they're not writing their own material. I might not be the funniest motherfucker you'll ever meet - but my shit is ALL ME. I've always loved entertaining people, and I've come to realize I'm pretty good at making people laugh - and I love to talk, so where better than on a stage with a mic in front of a crowd who wants nothing more than to hear some freak ramble on about his wild theories in life?
Your mother sucks. Besides, that's not a question
Being a self-taught designer who's spent a vast majority of his career working freelance means that mainstream firms are very unlikely to hire you. If they do hire you, it's sort of a slap in the face to all the kids from college who were promised high-paying careers but never got them. Apparently, that angers people. I've no ill will towards the college-bound, nor the college-graduated, however I learned everything I know from working my ass off and I never got the benefit of a formal education in design, web technologies, or even an art class. I just got lucky. Anyway, a porn company contacted me one day for an interview and I was working at a silver jewelry store. I'm not lying. My job before that was the graveyard shift at a Circle K, for just above minimum wage. Gettin' the bitches when you're 23 and kickin' around the K cup doesn't really come easy. So, I took the porn job and loved it. From there, I left and tried to go mainstream but they wouldn't have me. Luckily, an old friend/co-worker from my past job had a contact at Vivid's outsourced web department and voila! I'm Vivid's Senior Web Designer. Oh, and if you're wondering why I'm still in the porn industry, and/or what some of the perks are - I wrote about that, too